Life isn't fair

Life isn't fair.
Life sucks.
And then you die.

Well, always heard those lines.(Okay, I read it from Breaking Dawn and really like it. Don't know if there's any hidden meaning)

And I think as everyone thinks that "That's my life"
(Probably, Dad's thinking about it right now)

And someone said, "Is that suck? Really? Mine is sucker."
I don't know why they're so proud about their sucker life. Mine maybe not that suck but if you want, feel free to take mine.

It easier for my life to say that. I can prepare myself. (I think)I can deal with it. But when it's someone I love, it's really really hard. I don't want my dad die. I want him getting well. I want him back. I want him as healthy as before. Please.

The hospital said there's nothing they can do. They said Dad can go home. What the hell are they talking about. He still sicks!

Huh! Golden card. Screw you! (Sorry for being impolite. Usually, I'm a polite girl. I only turn to a bad girl in some case.)

I have to find a nursing home to take care of him. Or, we bring him home and hire someone to take care of him.

I want him stay at home but I don't want to hire someone. I don't want to put him in a nursing home but it's the only way that works for everyone. (Probably not for Dad. He definitely wants to go home. If he still understand things right now.) Because, the ones who care for him have a job to do.

Oh, hell. So tired. Don't know what to do now.

Feel like I'm a bad daughter if I put him in a nursing home. It would be good for him if I quit my job to take care of him. Took care by the family is the best way. But I can't quit my job. I'm not Bill Gate's daughter. I'm not Oprah's niece.

Am I selfish? Yeah, feel like that, right now. A sound in my head asked me, The reason you're gonna put him in a nursing home is because you don't wanna take of him yourself, right?

Oh, my God. It would be good if all these things was a dream.